Late night. Thought I'd write. Thinking. Thinking back. Thinking back over the last two years, can't believe this year is coming to it's chronological end.
I seem to be in a holding pattern. Financial growth has been sporadic. Savings down to literally nothing, nothing meaning under $10. Employed, full-time yet contracted which means not permanent. Hopeful. Worth must be proven. Knowledge tested, endurance with a full plate, learning the various personalities at my new place of duties. Very conservative with finances until a buffer is reached...hopefully a comfortable buffer. Hopeful.
Faith-filled. Sure of faith. Despite the outlook. Despite the feelings which can be up and down. My faith has been tested, my patience has been tested, pride has taken a back seat, I personally buckled pride in the back seat, but if it keeps talking I will stop my journey to put it in the trunk. I don't have time to entertain pride. It always proceeds a fall, so I'm disassociating myself with it. Wise move.Been at a lot of places on my journey previous to the path I'm on now, and many many things have been challenging. Never been at this place before on the journey in this manner. Never knew I would be at this level of faith on my journey, yet I believe more than ever that I'm on the way to greater success.
Challenged physically, health-wise as I've never known before. Lost lbs, 25 to be exact, the thought and action of a new medication to combat the carelessness of diet scared me 4 months ago. Fell into depression for a while, was hopeless. Communication came to a screeching halt with many, began praying more. Hopeful then hopeless. Prayerful then hopeful, and the cycle went on for a while. Vision was cloudy-- literally. Possible vision loss was scaring me more than anything. Faith was put on trial. Hope was challenged in the court of hopelessness.
Began changing the diet, began healing. Healing brought hope. Hope began to change my outlook. My outlook's perspective began fueling the right diet actions, many many challenges, many thoughts, many productive travels, Hope for some reason always sticks around, even when our current vision clouds-- spiritually (not necessarily physically). What a paradox, yet I began to see faith walk side-by-side with hope. Began to see how the two work tirelessly together to push me. One on the right, and the other on the left. Interesting relationship those two have together, yet they have strengths of their own.
Why do I keep writing? Why do I keep moving forward? Why do I keep sharing with you (the readers and followers)? Could it be that you are gaining hope? Hope through my experiences? Somewhat specific but described in a general sense to let you know that you're not alone. No one should be alone when their on their journey. Although we are really independent, yet we must understand that we need others, friends, relatable people, who can identify or empathize.
With the help of God, all things are possible. I believe this. I've seen incredible timely things change my hopelessness into hopefulness. I've literally seen faith begin to change it's pace from walking to jogging. I assess that the next level will allow me to witness faith running, and who knows-- I just may see it run a marathon. When we believe, all things are possible (to those who believe). We become our own limitation when we lose the will to believe, hope and operate in faith. Don't ever give up. Never give up. Never, never give up. Never, never, never give up.
